'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Oracle Park
Not a superstar was stirring, not even a spark!
The banners were hanging, by the arcade with care
In hopes that St. Ohtani, would soon be theirs
The fans were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of power hitting ace pitchers danced in their heads
And Farhan in his chef's hat, and you in your SF cap
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap
When out on Twitter, there arose such a clatter
Baseball fans sprang to see what was the matter
Away to the internet, we flew like a flash
Tore open MLB Trade Rumors and the ESPN app
The moon on the breast of the soft computer glow
Gave the lustre of heartache, to the news below
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But the Dodgers new superteam, instilling such fear
With a little old manager, so lively and quick
I knew in the moment, it wasn't St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came
And he whistled and shouted, and called them by name
Now Mookie, now Muncy, now Ohtani, and Freddie
On Glasnow, on Buehler, on Yamamoto and Kelly
To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall!
Now swing away, pitch away, swing away all!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
So up the MLB standings projections they flew
With their payroll still able to afford a new closer too
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the news
The prancing and pawing of Dodger fans views
As I drew in my head and was turning around
Down came the news, Glasnow's extension was bound
They were all dressed in blue, from their heads to their feet
And their clothes were all tarnished, with Dodgers motif
A bundle of power and pitching combined
The Dodgers were being hailed as baseball's divine
Their eyes how they twinkled, their smiles so merry
It made SF fans angry, our faces red as cherries
LA's entitled little mouths were drawn up like a bow
How the rest of baseball fans wished they all stubbed their toes
The stump of a victory cigar clenched in their teeth
And the smoke it encircled their heads like a wreath
The players had giddy faces and plump bank accounts
More than one billion for 3 players, such crazy amounts
LA now was chubby and plump, a right jolly rich team
And all other fans could do was laugh, it was obscene
A wink of their eyes and a twist of their heads
Soon let non-Dodgers fans know they had everything to dread
They spoke not a word, but went straight to work
Dismantling baseball, seriously, what jerks!
And laying their bats aside along with their gloves
And giving a middle finger, they lost a lot of love
They sprang to Dodger Stadium, to the team gave a whistle
And away they all went, like the down of a thistle
But we heard them exclaim, ere they flew out of sight
Merry Christmas Y'all, for the rest of the league... GOODNIGHT!
Comments
Post a Comment